Collective Node 04 // Rogers Ops

SCREW ROGERS

Disconnected by Design // Overcharged by Default

National Uplink
INTERMITTENT
Support Queue
4+ HOUR WAIT
Roaming Fees
EXTORTIONATE
Shareholder Joy
UNLIMITED

The Great Canadian Blackout Protocol

Rogers is the only network that can single-handedly take down the entire country's economy, banking systems, and emergency services while still sending you a bill for the full month. We call it "Total Connectivity"—mostly because when it fails, you are totally disconnected from reality. Whether it's the "Inter-Gateway Protocol" excuse or just general incompetence, Rogers ensures your digital life is always one update away from a 12-hour forced digital detox.

Customer Service Chronicles
Their virtual assistant 'Anna' is just a sophisticated way of telling me to restart my modem for the 50th time today.
— Frustrated Fibre User
I asked Rogers to port my number to another carrier. They ported my neighbour's number by accident and refused to fix it for two weeks.
— Number Portability Hostage
During the 2022 outage, Rogers' CEO was on vacation. The company posted a tweet from his account while he was offline.
— Corporate Communication Analyst
Rogers' 'Smart Home Monitoring' app hasn't loaded since the 2022 outage. They still bill me for it monthly.
— Ghost App Subscriber
The Ignite TV guide loads 3 seconds behind what's on screen. I've missed more channels by the time the guide catches up.
— Channel Surfer Casualty
Rogers sent me a 'loyalty reward' of 500 Rogers Points. They expired before I could redeem them for the $4.75 they were worth.
— Points Expiry Grief
Rogers is the only provider in my building. I asked the city about this. The city shrugged. Rogers shrugged. I continue to pay.
— Captive Audience
I tried to pay for coffee during the 2022 outage and realized Rogers controls my bank, my phone, and my will to live.
— Stranded in Toronto

Red Alert: The Roaming Trap

Rogers' "Roam Like Home" is a masterclass in creative accounting. Why pay local prices when you can pay $15 a day for the privilege of using the data you already pay for? It's the ultimate travel companion: expensive, unnecessary, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache when you return to Canadian soil.