Disconnected by Design // Overcharged by Default
Rogers is the only network that can single-handedly take down the entire country's economy, banking systems, and emergency services while still sending you a bill for the full month. We call it "Total Connectivity"—mostly because when it fails, you are totally disconnected from reality. Whether it's the "Inter-Gateway Protocol" excuse or just general incompetence, Rogers ensures your digital life is always one update away from a 12-hour forced digital detox.
After the Rogers-Shaw merger, Western Canada lost its last major alternative. I now live in a red-branded monopoly that used to be a blue one.— Rebranded Captive
My son's Rogers data plan ran out in 2 days. He hadn't used it yet. Rogers says background app usage is 'normal data consumption.'— Background Drain Victim
My 'Roam Like Home' bill was higher than my actual plane ticket to Europe. I didn't even take my phone out of airplane mode.— Frequent Flyer
My Ignite TV remote loses its pairing to the box every two weeks. Rogers says this is 'within expected parameters.'— Parameter Prisoner
Rogers' website says my area has 'Gigabit Fibre Available.' My actual address gets coax at 150Mbps. Reality not included.— Availability Illusion
During the 2022 outage, Rogers' CEO was on vacation. The company posted a tweet from his account while he was offline.— Corporate Communication Analyst
My Ignite box restarted during the overtime of Game 7. Rogers had no comment. I have many comments.— Game 7 Tragedy
The 'Ignite' brand was created to make you feel like your mediocre internet was futuristic. It is DOCSIS 3.1 in a red box.— Marketing Decoder
Rogers' "Roam Like Home" is a masterclass in creative accounting. Why pay local prices when you can pay $15 a day for the privilege of using the data you already pay for? It's the ultimate travel companion: expensive, unnecessary, and guaranteed to leave you with a headache when you return to Canadian soil.